As a parent, partner or family member, you often know when something feels different about someone you love and care about. They might not tell you they’re struggling, but you may notice changes in their behaviour, mood or daily routines.
You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong or have the perfect words to say to reach out. If something feels different, trust your instincts, check in, and ask “Are you OK?”
What signs should you look out for?
There’s no single sign that means someone is struggling with their mental health. However, you might notice that they:
- seem moody, irritable, emotional, reckless or out of character
- appear more withdrawn and spend less time with family or friends
- stop doing activities or hobbies they would usually enjoy
- seem worried, overwhelmed or unable to relax
- struggle to concentrate or make decisions
- are sleeping much more or much less than usual
- seem less interested in their appearance or personal hygiene
- talk negatively about themselves or feel like a burden
- express worry about the future or seem unusually hopeless
These changes can sometimes be harder to recognise in children and young people. It can help to pay attention to what’s happening around them and whether they’ve recently experienced something stressful or challenging.
This might include:
- changes in family routines
- friendship or relationship difficulties
- health concerns
- pressures at work or school
- the loss of someone or something important.
Experiencing one of these situations doesn’t automatically mean someone is struggling with their mental health, but when you notice changes alongside difficult life circumstances, it can be a good reason to gently check in.
Trust your gut and ask if they’re OK
You might find yourself thinking, “They just don’t seem like themselves lately.”
That feeling is worth paying attention to.
Don’t wait until you’re certain something is wrong.
Don’t wait until you have the right words or a solution to their problem.
Sometimes, simply letting someone know you’ve noticed a change and that you’re there to listen can make it easier for them to open up.
The R U OK? Guide offers practical tips on when and how to start these conversations.
When you do ask, try to give your loved one time to respond and listen without immediately trying to fix things. Your role isn’t to have all the answers. Often, it’s simply about helping them feel heard, supported and less alone.
What if they say they’re OK?
They might genuinely be OK, or they might not feel ready to talk.
Either way, asking lets them know you care and that someone has noticed. Some people find it difficult to open up the first time they’re asked, so keeping the door open for future conversations can be helpful.
You could also gently remind them that professional support is available if they ever feel they need it.
When should you suggest professional support?
Not every change in behaviour means someone is experiencing a mental health crisis. However, if you’ve noticed ongoing changes, or your gut is telling you things seem to be getting harder for them, it’s OK to gently suggest professional support.
You might say:
“I’ve noticed things seem a bit tough lately. Have you thought about speaking with a psychologist?”
A simple conversation can be the first step towards someone feeling understood, supported and more comfortable seeking help.
Concerned about someone you care about?
You don’t have to wait until things feel overwhelming to seek support. If you or someone you care about may benefit from speaking with a psychologist, learn more about our psychology clinic or request an appointment.
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